Its wrapped around me covering me from head to toe like a slithery snake holding its prey for the kill. The weight is unbearable causing so much painful Pressure inside that I can’t hold it in anymore Im a tea pot ready to blow.
I try and try to remove the slithering darkness that surrounds me, my thoughts, actions and emotions. I read constantly on ways to get the griped loosed, I’m tired oh so tired from the constant battle within. It’s hard to be me and be you at the same time, it’s hard to know who I am anymore without your breathe in my ears.
I don’t remember when you first started to grab me and pull me within the waters to drown me with your darkness’s but I feel the tightness around my chest daily now, just ease up a little a let me breathe please? I don’t want to grab my chest in fear this breathe my be my last as you grasp tightly.
I want to remember what it feels like to go out without you constantly screaming in my head how worthless I am, nobody cares oh and your favourite just kill yourself. I wonder all the time what it must feel like to look in the mirror without you, Not hearing you voice that is ice cold in the silent of the night before I sleep.
They don’t know how good they have it do they? To not be stuck with you? To not constantly be under attack fighting what feels like myself but it’s you! It’s You slivering on in my life trying to destroy me.
But god have mercy on you D because I’m strong and willing to fight I may be tired but I’m not a quitter! Yeah today you won but tomorrow is my day!
For now Jade x