30 days of health

How a month of afternoons outside changed my life. ☀️💫

No it’s not the sun has super powers or is it? 😂

The start of this month was not easy, I had to push myself most days just to get my fat ass up and move but it has finally been a full month I completed.

I have some pervious posts if you feel like you want to read the beginning of my little afternoon adventures.

I started this quest after a job loss, basically I had given up on practically everything in my life. I would wake up and be so exhausted from the night before sleep that I would go straight back down on the lounge. (It was a really depressing time, I wouldn’t lie. Probably one of my worse episodes). I was scared I felt drained, uninspired just lifeless.

I did the usual thing I normally do and rushed off to my doctors office and demanded new pills, better pills because the ones I was currently taking clearly aren’t working! My doctor assured me it was normally to feel somewhat down about the current events that I was enduring. I took that home with an attitude, she wasn’t going to help God they never do! Never do they listen to me! I’ll do it myself I concluded. That afternoon I went frantic searching all types of ways to heal this death I felt inside. That’s when I came across many study’s that had evidence going outside it would help improve my mood by increasing Serotonin so I wouldn’t just be a slump of skin laying on the couch day in and day out.

That was a month ago..

Today life has changed and although not drastically different it is in the process of improvement. I have goals again, a sense of wanting to achieve my dreams. Setting myself up so that this time next year I will be in a much better place not just financially but mentally and physically, perhaps even spiritually. I never thought in a million years that something as simple as walking outside for as little as half an hour then sitting as my dog plays for another would be part of the answer to happiness and success.

I am still in disbelief and I’m the one that transformed haha.

Life has been good to me and I thank the universe everyday for the positive I see in the world and it’s beauty. The suns rays feel different on my skin, it’s hard to explain but I feel more than before but it’s not pain.

With in this month I have started an online business selling my handmade products, enrolled back into university to finish my degree and found my passion to creatively express myself again. all from spending more time outside amongst nature.

Life is beautiful if you just slow down take the time and notice it. Once you start to notice the beauty, the ugly fades away !

My life has changed because I spent time outdoors just four weeks and my mentality has done a complete 360, it’s so simple you can do it to. I encourage you to get up and get outside embraces it’s natural benefits.

For now J x

Thank you for reading I apprentice your time please if you enjoyed it leave a like 🌷

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10 reason to be thankful today 🙌🏼

As I sit and watch the sun make its way down after a long day I can’t help but think to myself, I take so much for granted in this world, Maybe my unwillingness to see the good in life is why I’m so deeply unsatisfied?

My first week steeping outside amongst nature was successful, enjoyable and beneficial. One week down only four more to go, I’m intrigued to see how much I gain from the full Complete month of embracing the world around me. As I continue to think I start to realise just how blessed I truly am, I mean right now I have the beauty of being able to see all that is around me, I’m able to take in all the smells that are around, touch the earth with my feet and hands but most importantly I’m able to express myself through voice about my experience. It was in that moment I really felt I needed to express gratitude for all that I had been given from the universe 🙏🏼


Here are 10 reason to be thankful today !

You woke up this morning 🌤

  • With all that goes on in our daily lives we fill our head up with all that needs to be done by a certain time or date. What appointments we have coming up tomorrow or what places we have to be, who we need to see and how much time we have left for all that needs to be done but Do you ever just take the moment to sit and think just how lucky we are to even be able to get through another day the requires so much energy? Or how lucky we are to have been able to sleep safe in our beds at night? I know myself I just don’t see how lucky I truly am, we are all prone to forget about gratitude when we have so much daily stress that fills our minds.
  • You have access to clean water 💦
  • This is something I know that I take for granted way to often. The ability to bathe and drink clean fresh water, I’ve seen many adds on the tv that show me stories of people who are struggling for necessities like this and my heart aches for them. I feel horrible and I want to help but I never express gratitude that I have the ability to access clean water so easily. I take it for granted like it is a given right to everyone and although it should be unfortunately this isn’t always the case.

    You have eaten today 🍌🍟🍝

    Another one I take for granted is the quick and easy access i have to get food. People all over the world are starving right now and yet I have the ability to go get food at any given time. It makes me extremely unhappy to know how easy it is for me yet for others they may not know when there next meal is here, yet again I’ve never expressed my thankfulness for how lucky I am. I only see the negative when in reality I have it pretty amazing. Take the time right now to thank God, the universe for all that you have for someone right now wishes they had what you have.

    You have access to electricity 💡

    Having the ability to write this post and connect with those around the world is a wonderful experience that I know I am grateful for but often I seem to forget how lucky I am to be able to access to these things everyday. I have the ability to see in my home at night, keep it warm and to cook all due to electricity. It makes life that much easier yet I’ve never thanked anyone, I’ve seen it as a given right and well it’s not! Even with the stress of the bill every month I’m grateful for all the benefits I’ve been given because of electricity without it my life could be so much harder than it has to be.

    Laughing and chatting 🤪

    This one is tough for me because with the constant struggles of CPTSD and depression i’m normally one to run from emotion but on the rare occasion that I wake up in a good mood I embrace it and I’m happy, I’m laughing but mostly I’m ready to connect with the world. The past is forgotten and I’m ready to move forward, The days where I am motivated to get my shit done. I never stop and think wow thank you universe, thank you for allowing me to know what happiness is what joy feels like the way laughter can make you feel. I’m quick to point out all the bad but I never focus on the good that surrounds me. So I take this time now to say thank you for allowing me to feel the good with the bad.

    The ability to learn 🤓 📚

    If you have the ability to learn a new skill, language, solution to a problem or as simple as learning a new word then you should be grateful. The ability to retain new information is not something that everybody has the ability to do I know that I take it for granted myself! The ability to have such freedom in my educational experience is not a given, it’s a blessing. Although all children should have access to the same educational experience I have. The truth is far from it, if you have access to an education be great full for the blessing you have been granted. Without an education I could not read your post or Vice versa. So thank you universe for the ability to gain, retain and recite knowledge.

    To be able to watch the sunset🌅

    The ability to watch the beautiful sunset regardless of where I am or what I am doing, I’m great full I have the ability to see the beauty the world offers us. I’m great full I’m blessed with the gift of sight to be able to look into loved ones eyes, to be able to make a connection through sight is a gift from the heavens. I’m grateful I have been given the gift of sight (even if it means I must wear my glasses) 😂 I’m great full the world can experience all the blessing that come with the sunshine like that blossom of a flower.

    Tomorrow is a new day 🙏🏼

    If I miss an opportunity I know there are more out there that are for me. Tomorrow is a new day full of opportunities regardless of the mistakes I made before. It is never to late to start over again! I’m great full for the endless possibilities the world has to offer not just me but all those around. It’s a blessing that we have the ability to change and create what we want in life through the opportunities the universe gives us, we fight for or go in search for. The world is our playground and we should be thankful we get to experience all that it has to offer through it endless possibilities. Thank you heavens for giving us the next day to start fresh.

    Your past and the resilience is gave you 💪🏼

    Without the past you would not be who you are today. I hate my past my childhood was a nightmare but without it I would not be as strong and resilient as I am. So in hindsight I am grateful for all things that have happened for without failure you ca not Learn. Failure is your greatest friend for it teaches you about yourself. I’m grateful the path it has lead me on because insight of all the bad I have had a lot of good. I don’t express enough how grateful I am for all the good I gained from life even through the pain I am truly tankful. I am still here! My strength is only growing everyday and so is yours be thankful for what the past has taught you for without that mistake Or experience you may have never known.

    The air you breathe 🌳🍃

    As I sit and watch the sun I can’t help but focus on my breathe and how relaxed I feel. I’m thankful I have the ability to breathe on my own, I have two lungs with full capability of working on their own. This is another thing I take for granted and often forget our grateful I am to be able to have fresh air and a good set of healthy lungs to function so I am able to live everyday without the stress and struggle of breathing. It’s unfortunate because again not everyone has the ability to do so, so if you can please take this moment and be thankful because one day it ma change. We may loose access to fresh air due to climate change or from the destruction caused by deforestation.


    When we truly take a look around we can see many things we have to be grateful for although I don’t express it enough I am truly great full for all I have been given in life. I am going to make gratitude apart of my daily routine in week two of four of the world outside naming 10 new things daily I’m great full for to remind myself how lucky I am. I don’t know if this is the answer to solve my problems but I’m on my way to find out.

    Thank you if you took the time to read what I’ve posted it means a lot to me. Seeing you guys like and interact with my words brightens my day and keeps me posting so while I’m expressing my gratitude I want to say a huge

    THANK YOU 🙏🏼

    for now Jade x

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    I’m tired.. oh so tired.

    Its wrapped around me covering me from head to toe like a slithery snake holding its prey for the kill. The weight is unbearable causing so much painful Pressure inside that I can’t hold it in anymore Im a tea pot ready to blow.

    I try and try to remove the slithering darkness that surrounds me, my thoughts, actions and emotions. I read constantly on ways to get the griped loosed, I’m tired oh so tired from the constant battle within. It’s hard to be me and be you at the same time, it’s hard to know who I am anymore without your breathe in my ears.

    I don’t remember when you first started to grab me and pull me within the waters to drown me with your darkness’s but I feel the tightness around my chest daily now, just ease up a little a let me breathe please? I don’t want to grab my chest in fear this breathe my be my last as you grasp tightly.

    I want to remember what it feels like to go out without you constantly screaming in my head how worthless I am, nobody cares oh and your favourite just kill yourself. I wonder all the time what it must feel like to look in the mirror without you, Not hearing you voice that is ice cold in the silent of the night before I sleep.

    They don’t know how good they have it do they? To not be stuck with you? To not constantly be under attack fighting what feels like myself but it’s you! It’s You slivering on in my life trying to destroy me.

    But god have mercy on you D because I’m strong and willing to fight I may be tired but I’m not a quitter! Yeah today you won but tomorrow is my day!

    For now Jade x

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    not even in my sleep am I safe..

    It’s horrific that the idea that even when I lay down in a safe place, I close eyes to rest my mind and I can still be deeply disturbed by what you have done even 10 years later.

    The reality that each and every single dream can haunt me for weeks on a constant replay like a broken record stuck on repeat and you hate the fucking song, you can’t stand it. You creepy on in like Freddie fucking Kruger from nightmare on elms street you would honestly do just about anything to get away from but it is in your head there is no escape your stuck. I’m locked inside a prison I can see the bars covering my eyes, my soul is stuck. Is There’s no way out?

    It’s been a year since I have been diagnosed with complex trauma.

    At first I refused to believe such bullshit! How could I be suffering the same battles someone who went and served for their country is. There is no way my traumatic experience could be similar to theirs. It took a couple of weeks and physicists visits to have me understand why I would be suffering from complex trauma due to the childhood trauma I have encountered.

    I was mad that because of you I was suffering, you caused this. You selfish fucking bastard no care for anyone but your self. May god have mercy on your soul MR.

    but I’m not mad anymore you took all my anger, I’m not sad anymore again you have taken all of it. I can’t even hold you accountable anymore because i am the one who held myself in this victimised state of mind all these years. If anything i am mad at myself for allowing you to not only take those ten years away from me but for me continually allowing it for the next 10.

    NO MORE ! No fucking more!

    It stops right here today no longer will I be in fear of something that does not hold a threat anymore, no longer will I hold your guilt for something you should feel extremely guilty for. No more feeling sorry for myself and throwing validating pity party’s for myself.

    Today is the day I take control back 🙌🏼

    You aren’t allowed to control me, my life, my journey and mind anymore! It’s time I take it back and prove to myself what I am worthy of , capable of achieving and hopefully helping others overcome the same suffering I have felt.

    Thank you again if you took you’re time to read this. I appreciate more thank you know. 🙏🏼

    As always if you feel like you want to leave a like or even a follow 💕

    For now Jade x

    30 days of health

    Day one of 30 – embracing nature can boost your mood. 🌱🍃

    It’s Monday morning. Day one begins in the most unorganised chaotic start, Beep beep beep goes the alarm “huh what is that?” I think to myself half asleep rolling around like a bear that’s just awaken from hibernation stumbling looking for the culprit of the noise that disturb my sleep. All while mumbling erh, further proving my theory I am I fact a bear that has awoken from hibernation. I’m looking everywhere for the source of the noise on my dresser, under my pillows, on the floor even under the bed all to find out it was my stupid watch alarm. Oops 😬 *facepalm*

    “Dumb ass I am

    See i know myself and I knew I’d forget that I had set my watch alarm last night for in the morning so when it goes off, it would incline that I’d have to actually get out of bed to find the source of the alarm. Instead of hitting that sweet old snooze button 😂

    Good work past me, got the ball rolling for Today’s me!!

    I’m awake and in bed cuddling with my husband when he leans in and kisses my forehead while whispering he loves me. I just soak in the moment and enjoy the present something I don’t normally do. It feels great just to embrace the moment of pure love. God how I do love him and so grateful to have such a patient man, but how the fuck did he not hear the alarm five minutes ago?

    Time to get up I convince myself I roll out of bed as my feet hit the fall I feel the fatigue hit me. “Eh it’s going to be one of those days” I think to myself and I stubble across the hall to the bathroom. Omg the chill of the morning air hits my skin “jeez it is bloody cold.” I turn the shower on as quickly as humanly possible and jump straight in to retain all the warmth in my body.

    Once out and dressed I think it’s Time to get embraced amongst nature, I’m still fatigued and not really feeling up for it but if I quit I’ll never know if nature can help increase my mood and hopefully be one step closer to being one day be medication free.

    I grab my dog Bella get her ready and off we go,

    we arrive to the dog park “okay jade just an hour then you can go home” there’s plenty of other dogs for Bella to keep her occupied.

    I find myself a seat under a tree half in the shade and half in the sunshine, it’s quite a warm day so I really don’t want to be full emerged in the sun. I open my book up “time to get some reading done” I think to myself as I take one last look around embracing the sun and wind on my skin. The way the individual leaves on the trees move among themselves as the wind brushes through.

    Bella is off running with the other dogs they are having a jolly time, time to get my head down and see how much I can get read.

    As I flick page after page with a brief look up every now and then to check on Bella I suddenly notice the time and how it has gone by so fast. Wow, I think to myself an hour already. She’s still happy playing so I put my book down and I decide to jump up join her. We start playing tag she loves it her favourite game. I think she enjoys the fact she can outrun me so she always wins haha.

    Huffing and puffing I have the feeling like I could take on the world, I’m getting stronger than before and it feels incredible. Instead of being tired and fatigue like I was before the park, I feel energetic after a workout.

    I feel free,happy, I’m me at the moment not my illness an feels so good to be me. I mean nature and exercise sure did boost my mood and productivity, feeling pretty incredible.

    But negativity and it’s thoughts aren’t far away and they start “How long is it going to last how much longer before the cloud creeps in again and grasp me till I’m completely in its web of despair? I question myself.

    Is this why I to fall back into the darkness because I expect it every time something is to good. Am I to scared to be happy? Do I enjoy the pain of chaos? I have some serious soul searching to do I hope that within 365 from today I’m in a happy healthier state from mind body to soul.

    I Promise to hold my own I’m making my life a better experience. One step at a time slowly but surely, I will be able to succeed and Persevere to become who I am without the labels.

    The outcome after the hour an half of being outside, I felt clam, I noticed how nice I felt when the wind braced across my skin leaving me with a cool breeze to take in or the warmth of the sun on my skin. I hope that feeling I got after today keeps pushing me for the next 30 days.

    Wish me well I’m going to need it 😉

    Thank you again for your time, I am truely great full for even having one person view so thank you 🙏🏼

    P.s if you feel like you felt inspired or motivated Leave a like or follow for more updates.

    For now Jade x

    30 days of health

    Is Nature an all natural way to treat depression ft Harvard university study 🍀

    How many of you feel happier being outside under the sunshine with wind hitting your skin just taking the moment in?

    Harvard university has conducted a study that states nature can infect improve our overall mental health. I have written of this earlier so please feel free to take a look back and read it through.

    https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/sour-mood-getting-you-down-get-back-to-nature

    I have decided to conduct a study of my own to see if nature Can in fact increase my mental health. During this time I will change nothing at all about my day or diet expect Spending a full hour outside amongst nature, I will not have any electronics on me at this time so I can fully embrace nature and it’s presence around me.

    Reading through the study it got me thinking about how much time I do actually spend outside on a regular basis and it turns out it is not as much as I would have originally thought.

    Is this why depression is on the rise in this generation is it due to the fact we are simply not getting enough source of vitamin D due to such hectic Pace of lifestyle?

    (To make this clear I am in no way a doctor or scientist 👩‍🔬.)

    Just a regular person struggling to find away out of the darkness and looking for answers that do not Involve constant doctor appointments, visits and medication. Something I can manage and natural. There’s got to be something right?

    Basically the experiment I am looking at conducting is the following.

    Can nature increase serotonin naturally?

    Basically my Aim is to see if being in nature can produce serotonin in the brain like Harvard suggest.

    I’ll be Judging by how I am feeling during the day, after and before the time in nature. Tracking my moods by having a mood journal.

    I’m hopeful that the outcome will be a positive one that I can continue to help me on my journey to overcome the Darkness.

    Thank you 🙏🏼

    Don’t forget to hit that follow button to follow my journey through my own little study and once again thank you for your read 💕

    For now Jade x

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    Have you thought about therapy? 🤔🤯

    I don’t know how many times someone has thrown that line at me, have you tried therapy? I think it might be great for you.

    They make this statement like it hasn’t been something that I’ve done beforehand or even thought about myself. I get the idea of therapy it is simple you have a problem you can’t seem to find a solution to yourself, so you need some professional help for support or suggestions. It’s a huge help for people and in no way am I knocking therapy but for myself its more like a narrow hallway to the biggest nightmare I have to face.

    Let’s start with the beginning of my experiences when it comes to therapy.

    At first I do great I always do. I am full of hope and always coach myself “this time it will be better, just keep coming. One day things will be better just talk to them.” Once my mind hears the word talk it almost immediately goes into panic TALK! It’s like a trigger word.

    How the fuck am I going to TALK to them when I cannot even face a memory or flashback without withdrawing for a few weeks ignoring all responsibilities, despite the repercussions.

    An example of this and how much it effects my daily life would be, I wake up and it’s a normal day.

    I’m feeling fine, I get ready and head off to uni (studying education). On arrival I find out today is about how to identify traumatic experiences, such as emotional abuse, physical, sexual assault and neglect. The laws surrounding such abuse/neglect and protocols.

    I felt nothing when my lecture started but suddenly it started to go into detail. That’s when the Memories , pain, disgust and oh the tears. I had to run out of the lecture hall because I had a sudden panic attack which bought me to burst into tears.

    I left uni that day and I can’t pass the semester without completing the module. I couldn’t do it, reading through the questions only bought back the fearful little girl that I’ve hid for so long.

    I didn’t want to feel that way so I left, I couldn’t cope with the stress of having to be reminded of all the ways that I had been affected. I regret it everyday, I threw my dream away of educating children, to be their hero and make them smile on a daily.

    My dream started when I read the book ‘a boy called it’ by David plezer.

    I was suggested to read it because well my life wasn’t that hard and well, That book changed my life it made me realise how strong a human can become within themselves and how many people had also let me down, not one teacher in all my years of school took the time to figure out what was going on! But in a boy called it, the teacher saves him, makes him believe in himself again.

    If I could

    I wanted to be the one to save someone, be the person I wish I had.

    But How am I suppose to go on about life acting normal being constantly reminded of something I’ve tried years to forget? When it takes such a toll on my health. I say health because all habits turn bad, I don’t leave the house, eat crappy food, leave mess to pile on up now you get the picture.

    I feel a constant disgusting in my body like in the very pit, at the very thought of feeling like I’ll have to speak about it. How do you explain to someone, something so self sicking. Having to remember, repeat and describe. I couldn’t think of anything worse in my dam life.

    Plus add the trust factor how do I push myself to trust a complete stranger when I don’t trust anyone?

    I always feel like something I say may be used against me or thrown back in my face afterwards. I can’t tell anyone anything with out it being replayed and spoken about so why would I want to talk to someone who may tell someone else my personal details or struggles. The questions, the prying and digging for information. I understand it’s their job but I can’t stand the feeling of them trying to get inside my head. Trying to make something huge out of something I never saw a problem with before until they pointed it out how I should feel about it and explaining to me why I wouldn’t and must bring forward emotions making me feel even more fucked up then I already do.

    I didn’t feel like it effected me shouldn’t we just move on to something that did?

    It’s all to much for my stress reactors and I can’t even imagine doing it all over again. It’s not just one experience I’ve been going to therapy with psychiatrist and psychologist for over 8 years now. All different types with different points of view and ways to overcome the trauma. So many failed attempts.

    Slowly but surly its winning that horrible DARK D but I will always fight back.

    If you have any support or suggestions on how I may overcome my fear why therapy don’t hesitate to leave a comment below 🙏🏼

    Thank you for your read, please leave a like or hit that follow for more insight into my thoughts 💭

    For now Jade x